My princess eye's problem :(

updated by mommy @ 1 year 1 week and 1 day old

I am avoiding this topic..I actually avoid thinking about it, not to mention blogging it out here..I am trying to live in denial. but I have to face the reality..whether I like it or not..I can't avoid forever...

We sent Isabel for eye checkup last Saturday. It was a schedule checkup to obtain her power after confirming the shape of her corner is "abnormal" after the previous checkup 6 weeks ago.

We were instructed to put the eye drops for her at home before leaving the hospital. We tried but it was not easy as she was so afraid that she kept crying and fight back. She closed her eyes when she cried. Hubby being very soft hearted, not able to bear to see our little princess suffer, decided to bring her to the hospital and get the nurse to do it for us.

While Darren was having his eye-sight checked, I was with Isabel in another room. I held her tight and the nurse force to put the eye drops for her. The whole eye centre could hear her cry. Heart-broken... We have to do 3 times for both eyes...it was a struggle, not only for her but for us as well.

She was quite tired and unhappy after that. It was about her morning nap time when finally her turn to see the eye specialist. Never know how the doctor is going to do the checking, I just listened and followed doctor's instructions. She asked me to hold her head straight and don't let her move. I followed...what a big mistake...our little baby didn't like it at all. Well, who like to be held on the head tight? She started to protest and cried really loud. She fought back hard. We tried to Darren to distract her but still failed. The doctor only managed to check once...then she instructed us to lie her on the bed and use "force" to hold her tight. WORSE...WORSE...her eyes basically CLOSED and the doctor has to use her fingers to FORCE OPEN her eyes. I was so afraid that her fingers would poke on her eyes since our little baby was struggling hard.

Sad to say that the doctor failed to obtain her power. Initial findings was...her power is more than 400. It was HIGH for a little girl at her age. Even with the lens of 400, the doctor said she still couldn't see clearly. It means it is more than 400. Bad..bad...

So how? Doctor suggested we arranged another day, preferably weekday, and she is going to put Isabel to sleep, then only obtain her power. I questioned the doctor about the risk of giving her medicine to putting her to sleep, the doctor replied that there are definitely a small risk that the baby would not wake up...but usually it is ok. If I am worried, she can give half a dose but we also have to prepare that the baby may not fall asleep with half the dose. Give full dose..got risk..give half a dose..may not work..I am really troubled.

I asked the doctor can we postpone her checkup. She said unless we send her for checkup every month to check for a "squint". Should she develop a squint, her power should be obtained immediately and she needed to be put on a glasses. We need to monitor her closely too in case she develops a squint along the way. Doctor said..with her power, it is a matter of time when she develop a squint. The minute she has a squint, it needed to be corrected imemediately. I asked will the squint go away fast if we put her on glasses immediately once we discovered she has a squint? Her answer is it depends how bad is the squint and whether the squint is both eyes or on a single eye. Doctor emphasised that usually she will suggest glasses if the power is more than 400, to prevent squint and lazy eyes. It is very important for a child to have clear vision during her early years in life. If she does not have a clear vision, she might hava a problem to develop her 3D vision.

Conclusion: Doctor would love to obtain the power immediately, so that we can make a pair of glasses for her to wear, to provide her clearer vision. But to get the power, she needed to be put to sleep which we are reluctant to do so because of the risk involved. Unless we are willing to delay until her squint appeared...but it may be too late and we will have more to tackle once the problem is out.

Tough..tough..tough..can you tell me what to do???

Hubby and I also feel that we should get the power soon. It is better to prevent than cure. But we wanted to try without putting her to sleep...so maybe we can put the eye drops at home, then let her take a short nap and wake up with a feed. Then only go to hospital with a happy and well-fed mood. Hopefully she will be able to cope better when the doctor is getting her power. Maybe we have to bring along some snack, a laptop with her favourite VCD to distract her too.

Arrgghhh..I really hate to think about it. My heart really ache and I really cannot accept the fact that my little baby has to wear glasses at such a young age... she has a pair of attractive eyes, how can we hide her beautiful eyes under the pair of ugly glasses??? No no no no no way.................My tears shed every time I think about it and how I wish the one who is wearing glasses is ME and not THEM...why them??? Why the kids???

I feel very troubled and I am not happy with what is happening to them. I just pray to God that hopefully the doctor took the wrong power and her power is acutally much lower than that...can that happened???? Please...God...please help my little girl..I need your help...I need you to cure her eye-sight problem and grant her a clear vision. Please..please...

p/s: Don't know whether we are sensitive or what, both hubby and myself also discovered that Isabel's eye squint at certain time of the day. I hope her squint don't come so early...