updated by mommy on my 11 months 1 week and 5 days old
Yes..it may sound cruel..and I do feel very bad for doing this..we started the "Cry It Out" sleep training method on Isabel 3 nights back. This is my last resort as it is extremely hard making her sleep and she constantly demand me to carry her to sleep and left me extremely sleep deprived (I hardly sleep for more than 3 hours in a row for a week prior to this). Hence, resulting me in mood change, depression and phobia towards her. It is no good for both of us and I really need to find a solution. Thus, this method is most suitable for babies as difficult as her.
10pm - After milk, I switch on the soft music as usual. Told her that she is going to sleep on her own tonight and I will see her tomorrow morning. Tell her how much I love her and we will go through this together as she needs to learn to sleep on her own and not depending on me. I placed her in the playpen, immediately she protested and cried. I helped her to lie down but she immediately stood up at the cot, crying for me. My heart was very heavy and i placed her down again and she stood up again. I did that for 3 times and finall bid her goodnight and walked out from the room. Yeah, I dimmed the light to quite dark too.
She cried...and cried...and screamed as well. My heart is really heavy. Hubby and I stood outside of the room and waited. She cried and stopped and cried again. I walked in after 3 mins and placed her lying down again but she protested. She cried even louder after seeing me. I placed her down twice and left the room. She cried again...Can't remember how after that..(I was traumatised by her cry too), she took no more than 20 minutes and finally fell asleep in the tummy down sleeping position.
Hubby and I were relieved..we peeped from the joint-toilet from the other room.
2.30am - Surprisingly she slept through till 2.30pm without any fuss. Usually she will cry hourly demand me to carry her. I was surprised that she slept so well. I went in, picked her up and fed her water. She drank almost half the bottle and finally I placed her back to the playpen again and left the room.
She cried of course..but she slept again in less than 10 mins. I was relieved again after seeing her sleeping in the sleeping position (not sitting up or kneeling down like few days back). I went back to the masterbedroom and continue sleeping.
7am - She slept till 7am. I was surprised and amazed. I went in and fed her milk and placed her down the playpen again. Surprisingly this time she did not protest nor cry. She slept quietly after that. I was super happy.
9.30am - She woke up 9.30am and I greeted her with my happy smiling face. I was definitely proud of her. Very proud.
12.00pm - I repeated the same method for her nap too. She cried for less than 10 mins and I only went in once after left the room and she fell asleep by herself again. SHe slept till 2pm that afternoon, exceptionally long compared to other days.
Throughout the day, she seems a bit quiet to me. She fuss less and never fuss for me. She used to fuss and whine everytime she sees me and wanted me to carry her but not this day. I found her less attached to me and more behaved. Good thing should be but I felt funny.
5pm - I repeated the same method again for her 2nd nap. She cried again for less than 15 mins and I did not go in anymore after left the room. She slept till 7pm that nap. AMAZING..... (I greeted hubby with relax and smiling face for the first time after streessing so much about Isabel for that day.)
However, after the 5pm nap, she was back to normal. She was sticky to me again and demanded me to carry her most of the time. She even rejected hubby totally when hubby carried her. I enetertained her coz I felt sorry for her to put her through this. Hoever, I felt extremely difficult to meet her constant demand throughout the night.
11.30pm - Since she woke up late that evening, I postponed the night time sleep to later time. As expected, she cried..but I feel she cried longer compared to first night.
2.30am - Woke up crying and this time, it took about half an hour for her to settle back to sleep. Was tossing around on the bed and cried intermittently.
5.30pm - Woke up crying again. Offered milk and went back to sleep. Can't remember took how long.
7.15am - Woke up crying again. It took her a while to settle back to sleep again. Can't remember how long.
9.30am - Woke up.
11.30am - Took longer for her to settle herself to nap. Maybe around 15min. Woke up 1.5 hr later.
5.00pm - Took about 30mins to settle to sleep but woke up 30 mins later. Looked tired. But since it was already 6pm, I brought her downstairs. She was cranky whole night.
Throughout the day, she was super clingy to me and only wanted me to carry her. Am feeling suffocating with her clingyness.
9.30pm - Took her about 30mins to settle to sleep. But she cried more and louder intermitently. It took her longer to fall asleep too.
12.30am - Woke up crying. Took her about 30mins to settle back to sleep. Longer and she was tossing around on the bed.
2.30am - Woke up crying again. Fed her milk and she settled back to sleep quite fast.
5.30am - Woke up crying. Took him about 30mnins to settle back to sleep.
7am - Woke up crying. Fed her milk. When I placed her on the playpen, she was looking at me quietly. She was still quiet when I walked out of the room. An easy one...phew!!
9.30am - Woke uo.
11.30am - Took quite long to fall asleep. Cried more profusely and louder. Slept about 1.5 hr.
5.00pm - Took her about 30mins to fall asleep again. Longest of all I think. But she woke up 30mins later. Looked tired and again since it is already 6pm, I brought her downstairs.
9.30pm - Cried for almost 30 mins intermitently.
Throughout the day, she looked the same like yesterday..as clongy and as difficult. I feel that she is like quite stress up and honestly I feel the same. Everytime she cries, my heart ache and keep wondering what I am doing is right or wrong. Is there any side effect on her... I am losing control over the situation. I drag to put her to bed everytime. How I wish I can avoid that and keep wondering when this will end.
I hope I am not making the wrong decision and really hope she can settle herself to sleep soon. I am sick of hearing her cry and wish to see a happy baby and mommy again SOON!!
Mommy has tried so many ways to sooth and comfort you but you don't seems comfortable and happy with what I am doing for you. Last resort, mommy chose this way because no matter how, you still cry so much. Hope through this method, you can learn to sleep on your own and don't need to depend on mommy's carrying and patting to make you sleep. Hope you understand we love you so much but without the required rest and sleep, mommy just couldn't spare the love out for you. Sorry Isabel for letting you going through this, really hope you will get adjusted to it soon. Mommy loves you!!